Projected as pre-season favorites, 4C's has scratched and clawed their way to the APEX Soccer Finals. While it should have been an easy road, the rag tag crew made the season more like Jersey Shore than the gimmie season that was expected.
With the departure of 'Guyz and Dollz' into the C league, 4C's appeared to have the league on lock. But everything fell apart with a mid-season scandal that resulted in team manager Amanda Tate receiving a one game suspension, while Sean Garton and Ben Gager received fines.
"Once they found out hooded sweatshirts were off the table, they started purposely throwing games in protest," stated one league official who asked to remain anonymous. "Too many players on the field with two minutes left, in a clutch game? No one is stupid enough to do that."
"We're trying to keep some integrity in the game. No one wants to win the league based on thrown games," stated the director of APEX sports.
The team however, denies any such claims, while maintaining their frustration. "Why do they think we play? Because we love the sport? Hardly. We play for hoodies, and if they think they can swap in long sleeved t-shirts and we will just roll over and die, they've got another thing coming," said team spokesperson Leo Marcelo.
Amanda Tate's comments on her suspension: "I'm not willing to support or deny any allegations of us throwing games. But I will say that after my suspension I am very aware that it isn't an option. If the league wants us to win, then I guess all we can do is comply and try to have a good attitude while we're at it."
"After we found out no hoodies, winning was no longer appealing. This isn't an ideal situation all around, but we understand the league's stance on the issue and will go on with winning despite ourselves" added team muscle-man Justin Ebert.
Scandal aside, 4C's has an opportunity to put their demons to rest, and silence their critics tonight, when they play Lady Luck in the D League finals. With a record of 4-1-2, 4C's is guaranteed the league title with a victory. However a tie or loss, combined with an Off Constantly victory will put them in second place.
Lady Luck striker Joanni claims that 4C's can be beaten fair and square. "They can lose. I've seen it before. Last season after their team sushi night, everyone was throwing up everywhere. I think we took them 10-9 in that game." Upon being asked if food poisoning was part of Lady Luck's strategy, Joanni added, "We're going to hold our cards close to our chest until game time. We don't want to give anything away."
As for game predictions, no one is completely sure. Super fan Jake Stooke believes that 4C's will take the title home, but says they'll do it with the color and flare everyone expects from them. "Oh they'll win it, but I can't imagine they'll do it the easy way. Ever since Sean attempted a bicycle kick with an actual bicycle, I've stopped trying to put these guys in a box"
He also added that stretchers and paramedics should be readily available as 4C's rarely makes it through a game without imploding on themselves with injuries. "It's all part of the show they put on."
Sean Garton stated his optimism but his quotes contained so many expletives that they couldn't be included in this article. Upon cleaning his statements up, they no longer made any sense.
Ben Gager could not be reached for comment.
Ben Gager is such a soccer diva.
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